Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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