i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
