hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
