I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
