What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
