rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
