Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize