You're so nebulous sometimes
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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