Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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