sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
ttyl tear gas
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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