dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You smell like stripper and shame
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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