I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
