While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
