There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
