Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
