I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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