it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
