I need help removing her.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
