Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
