Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
