just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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