yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
