when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
