How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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