That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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