so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
