it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
