yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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