Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
