Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
