I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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