Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
