dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I wish I only lived at night.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
