I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
