DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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