Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
