So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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