WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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