Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize