why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
