you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
