Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He shit in the fireplace
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
