I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
