This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
