It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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