What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize