like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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