i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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