he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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