wakey wakey hands off snakey
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Also, beer. Big fan.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
