But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
