btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
