she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
