quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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