the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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