it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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