This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
