I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
