How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Girls should come with a carfax report
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize