So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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